the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
ttyl tear gas
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
