I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
