Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
