One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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