oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
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I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
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That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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