Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
