you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
