Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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