Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
