the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
