Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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