i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I am one with the molecules
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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