I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
