I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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