When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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