how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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