i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
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The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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