omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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