just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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