girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
