explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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