I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
