i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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