Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
