She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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