i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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