Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
