he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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