you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
no you cant smoke seaweed
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
