is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
