I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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