i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
we have officially lost it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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