I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
