I seem to have left my pride at pride
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
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cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
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I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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