i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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