i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize