u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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