I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
