i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
