"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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