The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
