butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize