dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I have tasted many bathrooms
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
