so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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