I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize