dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
