need another drink. this is the easiest way
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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