What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Randomize
