Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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