if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
