S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Randomize
