Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
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time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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