You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize