In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
