yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
