What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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