I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
