I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
And then he peed in my hair
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
